I was at the Port Sydney Community Centre, for a wonderful Christmas celebration.
I sat across from a lady who was really struggling because she was grieving
(I am a grief magnet!). Her husband died a few months ago. She left the room and
when she came back she said, “I’m sorry I had to leave for a moment, I was having a
hard time”. I replied, “You know it’s OK to allow your grief. It’s OK to allow your tears.”
She smiled and in the next moment was having fun as everyone sang and kids ran around.
The most important message I want to share with everyone is:

It’s OK to acknowledge and allow your grief,
but it’s also OK to take grief breaks!
 
It’s OK to be a part of the festivities, even if you are grieving.
Have laughter and joy in between all the grief. Don’t ignore your grief, but certainly
take breaks from it. So, if you are grieving—you’ve had a loss, facing life’s challenges or obstacles—enjoy all the moments you can. Easier said than done? Yes, most of this is!
But it is worth the effort! If you can have laughter and joy, wonderful!
It’s all interwoven sometimes; grief, joy, laughter…it isn’t always just one or the other.
Don’t feel bad or guilty. And remember…

Take a grief break as often as possible. Enjoy every moment you can!
 
 

Today I had the privilege of speaking to some of the staff at SickKids Hospital
in Toronto. It was truly an honour. I reminded them, as I would like to remind everyone--
healthcare professionals and those who are dealing with sick children or those
with chronic illnesses—we really need to ask for what we need, and take good care
of ourselves and each other.

Show up for yourself first and then Just Show Up for others!

Reach out to your village, and be a part of that village for others.
None of us can do this alone, and certainly being at SickKids is a great reminder of that.
Go home tonight, hug your children, hug someone else’s children, or just hug whoever you can! Be SO grateful when they are healthy, let the small stuff go… it’s so unimportant.
Being at this hospital was a huge reminder of that!

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to anyone and everyone who works
with and supports sick children, their families and loved ones.
What you do is simply amazing. Thank you.

Take good care of yourselves and each other! Let’s be that Village!

As promised, once a month, I am sharing one of the 7 Take Aways, on how to live life to the fullest, learn to grieve and support others and how to have “The Talk” about end of life, long before it arrive and diffuse the fear. This month I’m sharing Take Away #2:

It takes a village to support the ill, the caregiver, the dying,
 the bereaved and each other.

Many times when someone is facing a crisis, a loss or challenge, we look to
the professionals to take over and think, “Thank goodness they’re here and the person
struggling is now in good hands.” While that may be true—we need hospice, palliative care, victim services, bereavement, counselors etc.—but we also need our village.

There are many moments/hours in the day that we need our friends, families,
neighbours and co-workers. We don’t only need professional help. When people
have addictions, chronic illness or are in the dying process (which can take months),
they may not even have that support.  One thing I’ve done is to learn more
about my neighbours. Here’s a great story:

One of our neighbours had cancer, was going through treatment and was absolutely exhausted and so was his wife (that’s not the good part!). Their winter wood was
delivered, they were overwhelmed and didn’t have the energy to pile it.

Another neighbour sent out a text saying her family was going over on Saturday
morning to pile wood for this couple, and wondered if anyone would join them.
And you know, 25 people from around the neighbourhood—some who didn’t even
know this couple--just showed up! We piled all that wood in one hour. It’s such a
great story and meant so much to this couple. We were that village!

So my question is, and I’d love you to be more observant and more aware, do you know
what your neighbour might need, or a need in your community? If we all open our eyes
and our hearts will we suffer less, when grief arrives.
 
It takes a village to support the ill, the caregiver, the dying,
 the bereaved and each other.

Julie Veitch and I just recorded our Hunter’s Bay Radio interview which was great, so fun.
We have been on a journey together for many years, but in the last three years of creating
new careers for our second act of life. 

Yvonne: Now you’re embarking on a new part of your adventure and moving to British Columbia, joining your husband Brian who left in August. Muskoka has to say goodbye, although we can stay in touch virtually. (And I let her know, I will be visiting a lot!).
On the show, we shared this magnificent Inner Core Coaching, you founded. Tell people about that, because I’m pretty proud to share. You helped my tremendously, with my transformation, from nurse to author and speaker. I couldn’t have done it without you!

Julie: And what a treat it’s been and will continue to be. More than ½ my clients have never met me in person. But I have this really intimate relationship with them. We meet virtually and it’s trans formative. In fact, it’s very convenient not to need to get out of their pajamas
and be in the comfort of their own home. I’ve been supporting women in midlife mainly, who’ve created success externally, but yet still feel this sense of unsettledness and dissatisfaction on the inside and don’t know why. They want something more for their lives and in their lives. But there are often these long-lasting emotional blocks that are getting in their way. So we work to uncover those. And the freedom and joy that emerge is amazing; women leaving toxic relationships, stepping into their dreams, change their careers….

Yvonne: I had so many “Aha” moments that I thought, “Ok, hang on, I have to slow down, and I’m having several ‘aha’ moments at once!” Working with Julie has been extraordinary—life-changing—and I encourage everyone to reach out at www.innercorecoach.com.  She is available for people all over the world and what a gift she is! I will be Skyping regularly
and we will be doing more podcasts together!

Julie: I want to say that Muskoka has been a huge catalyst for my evolution and my ability to morph my gifts into being able to sever on a broader scale. So I have a lot of gratitude for my time here and all the relationships. They will continue and grow in a new direction.

Yvonne: So on behalf of Muskoka, I wish Julie a wonderful journey out west where she will join her family! Hear our interview on HBR podcasts anytime!

As you may have guessed, it’s Halloween, 2017. My children, as always,
expected me to dress up. So I thought, “You know what? I’m going to do it!”
So I dug into the old costume box and found Thing 2.

I had a wonderful day! I went to the hospital fracture clinic (because I broke my toe,
but we’ll leave that story for another time), I hung out with the volunteers, I went to
Staples, then to our local health store, the Great Vine. Last stop was the library.

Wherever I went I said, “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!” and tried to make people smile.
And it worked… well most of the time. Sometimes I just got a weird look,
and that made ME smile!

That’s what it’s really about, isn’t it? Making people smile!
So, if I can do this at age 52 with a broken toe, you can too.
Maybe you can dress up next year? But in the meantime…

Any chance you get, make people smile each and every day of the year!