Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference.

9/13/2018

As you know, I aspire to help people to live life to the fullest, learn to grieve
and support others and have “The Talk” about end of life, long before it
arrives and diffuse the fear. And every now and again I connect with someone
very special and they share something that has a profound impact.

Matthew Ruttan is one of those people. I connected with the Ruttan Family
a few years ago. Sadly Eric Ruttan, father and husband, died of cancer.
But at his service, Matthew did something very special. He handed out cards
to those in attendance. The words on the card stayed with me. In fact I
have the card in my wallet, have printed it out in many places and it is even
part of my presentations.

When we are grieving, when someone we love has died, it is a difficult journey
to navigate. People often ask me, “How do I get through this? What do I do?” Matthew’s words really helped me offer an answer. Here’s what that card said:

Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference.

Be the evidence that someone’s life made a difference. Wow! When I read
those words it takes my breath away. It speaks to my heart and to my soul.
It makes me feel hopeful. The best way we can honour people we love who
have died—Big Love, Big Grief—is by moving though our deepest grief, acknowledging and allowing, knowing and accepting that it will impact our
hearts forever. But if we can live our life to the fullest, and we can be the
evidence that their life made a difference… I feel like that is a tremendous
way to honour them.

I would love to hear your stories, of how you are being the evidence…
I hope these words touch your heart as well, and help you to carry on to the
other side where you can feel joy again, and you can…

Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference.

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6 Comments

Donna Smith

9/14/2018 06:13:15 am

I LOVE this! I can honestly say that at age 62, after losing my Dad, Mom, youngest sister and brother I am now in a place where I treasure the memories of them and no longer go to a sad place. It has taken years but as I get older I realize what a privilege it was to have had them in my life. A day doesnt go by that I don't think of them but its with happiness and not sadness. Have a great day Yvonne! Donna

Yvonne Heath

9/16/2018 01:50:45 pm

Wow, Donna, you have certainly known big grief, over and over. i am happy for you, that you are able to feel happiness and treasure memories! Thank you for sharing! xxoo

Diana

9/16/2018 10:48:12 am

Death is not easy on anyone no matter how close you were to the person. Death separates from our loved ones permanently and that is the hardest on us emotionally. Death to me is one of life’s journeys and it is a journey that I perceive it as memorable and everlasting.

9/16/2018 01:53:46 pm

Well said, Diana. It is one of the hardest of life's journeys. If we can talk about that, accept it and hold onto the fact that love never dies, we can Just Show Up for each other through life and death.

Maureen

9/18/2018 02:43:48 pm

WOW!! What a beautiful gift you received from a loving son. Grief is real and palpable. Early on it is like a raging sea with waves crashing furiously and fast. And as time goes on, the storm slows the waves come in slower and slower until finally, they are a gentle tide. The memories roll in yet don't affect us as powerfully as in the beginning. We can see the goodness of shared experiences and smile. That's when I know how much that person's life mattered to me. And they live on in my heart forever.

9/18/2018 05:17:50 pm

Hello Maureen, it is indeed a beautiful gift. And you description of navigating grief is poignant, beautiful, difficult and just so real. Thank you for sharing!

Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference.

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