I am back at Hunter’s Bay Radio studio and had an amazing interview with Valerie Fleck who shares: I am a resident of Port Carling and along with my partner Dayle Ross, we started a group called, 100 Women Who Care Muskoka. The concept is simple; women get together four times a year and each bring $100.00. We crowd source that money together and donate it to local charities. It is the most brilliant, amazing and generous idea. I love the whole concept. These women have already given thousands of dollars to the Muskoka Women's Advocacy Group and Muskoka Victim Services, and just last week Hospice Muskoka was the recipient of $10,000.00! Yes, it happened really fast. We only started this is March 2018 and our last donation was $10600.00, which was fantastic! It really makes a big impact in a community when a small charity receives a big donation. We encourage more members and other charities to sign up or to learn more. www.100wwcmuskoka.com. How often do we hear that an organization is not asking for money? or they want to give money! Wow!! This could be in your community too. Another example of how an organization and individuals can #JustShowUp and give back to community! Listen to our show on Saturday November 17, 2018 at 8am - 88.7FM or on the podcast at www.huntersbayradio.com Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
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How can we Just Show Up for the grieving?
This video says it all! It's so hard to know what to do when your friends are hurting. The thing is, you can't cheer someone up by telling them to look on the bright side, or by giving them advice. It just doesn't work. Watch this video to learn the one thing that will improve all of your "I'm here for you" intentions, and be that supportive friend you most want to be. Thank you Megan Devine and Refuge in Grief for your ongoing work, for Just Showing Up for people and giving everyone a place to talk about and tell the truth about grief. For my friends, I invite you to learn more about the work that Megan does: www.refugeingrief.com Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
We are in Kelowna, BC, and I just wanted to share my spectacular moment with you. We climbed down a very steep hill to incredible rapids and a water fall. We are having such a wonderful time visiting our older son Tyler and I will be speaking at the Huntington Society of Canada Conference on November 3rd, 2018. What an honour! I am so completely filled with gratitude and happiness that I just wanted to take a moment to say “thank you” to everyone who has been supportive and for being our cheerleaders—I couldn’t have done it without you. I am now going to climb that steep hill… I can do it!! Great symbolism there! Sometimes the hills are steep, just hang onto something on your way up. I am loving life here in Kelowna! Thank you again for everything. For believing in me. For knowing that I could climb these steep hills. You can too! I love all of you, and thank you for loving us! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I have spoken a lot, about my 7 Take Aways, and Take Away #6: Find your Post, and hold onto it. And your Post is anything you can turn to-- no matter what—in times of despair. It can be there for you. Yoga, meditation, religion, spirituality, art, music. And for me, it’s Nature. I go out in Nature and I feel connected to something greater than me. I can hug a tree… literally, I will hug a tree, and I am reminded that whatever I am going through is only temporary. Like in Nature, you see the seasons and everything constantly changing. And change is the only constant. So Nature is my Post. But also, sometimes (often, actually), in the busyness of life, you need a pause. As my good friend, Julie Veitch (www.innercorecoach.com) says; Stop. Breathe. Be Here Now. In all the hectic-ness of everyday life, we don’t take that time, because we don’t feel that we have enough time. We’re too busy. But you know, 5 or 10 minutes in Nature can change everything for me. Going for a walk will make all the difference. It can change the rest of your day. So I encourage you, take some time in Nature, no matter where you live. If it’s near sand, a park in the city… wherever you are. Take the time to let Nature rejuvenate you! It will be worth it, I promise. Where do you love to spend time in Nature? Share your comments below... Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
Back in the HBR studio, with Paul Mascarin, the owner of Muskoka Kia. We’ve been talking about how he supports his community, and how individuals and companies can also support their communities. Paul: We talked about how you can donate your time, money if you can, joining a service club (if you can make the time), all worthwhile things and just giving back to the community. Yvonne: Absolutely! You can always do something. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it doesn’t have to take a lot of money or time. Paul adds: As they’ve said for centuries, “Every penny helps!” Y: Every penny does help, and that is a very important message. $5.00 is better than no dollars. 30 minutes is better than no time. So, please ask yourself, “How can I best support my community?” If we all do a little bit more, we’ll all be that much better off! Paul: The entire community will. *As a side note, We are very grateful to Paul and the entire Muskoka Kia team. They always make sure our vehicles are serviced and ready to go. Kia supports us as we travel.We sure do put a lot of kms on our cars! Thank you, Muskoka Kia, for continuously supporting your community and Love Your Life to Death! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I am being transparent and sharing with you, that I was very disappointed! As you know, I’ve left my nursing career to help create a culture of change where we normalize conversations about grief and talk about it BEFORE it arrives too. One of the things I’ve wanted to do is a Ted Talk. For those who don’t know what they are (and if you don’t, you google it!), they are “Ideas Worth Spreading”, in 18 minutes or less. It’s been on my bucket list from day one. I was well-prepared, I applied and was short listed, from 100 to 14 people (very exciting!!). Then I went for an interview and it went very well; except one of the interviewers was not able to attend. But the person I spoke with was very enthusiastic about my message. I felt hopeful. But a couple of weeks later, I received an email letting me down apologetically. I did not make the final cut. I was SO deeply disappointed, because Ted Talks are such a wonderful way to share your message and so validating when you’re a speaker. I realize, just like grief, life and everything in between… it’s like a roller coaster. I’ve had great successes lately; my Alumnus of Distinction Award, I’m was on the organizing committee and speaking at an international hospice/palliative care conference in Boston and much more. So many great things and yet I had to feel my deep disappointment. I had a little pity party—not going to lie—and I was a little crabby (just ask my family!). And then I moved on! I know I will do my Ted Talk. Disappointments are a part of this life journey we call life. Acknowledge and allow your feelings, then brush yourself off and keep on going. And I promise you—I will announce here and now—that I will do my Tedx Talk before the end of 2019. Mark my word and hold me to it! Have you been disappointed lately—and moved on??? Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I am recording this in September, 2018, and we are in the wake of another natural disaster that hit our world. Three tornadoes destroyed many homes in our nation’s capital of Ottawa, Ontario. There are so many people displaced, grieving and devastated. This, of course, is not the first disaster that people have faced. But it is another reminder that life is so unpredictable and change is the only constant. And in this, when there is such complex grief and so much going on… It’s just begun. Grief of this magnitude (some people have died, pets died, belongings lost, uncertainty with insurance coverage, survivor guilt for those who didn’t lose their homes…), it goes on and on, and affects so many people- directly and indirectly. So, I felt compelled to share my message again! When you don’t know what to do and you don’t know what to say, it’s awkward and you can’t fix it;three words: Just Show Up! You can make a difference! It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Even the smallest act of kindness can make such a difference for people; hug, text, email, call, sit silently, reach out bring food, help with… whatever they need help with! Sometimes that just help with the daily tasks of living. My husband, Geordie, is in Ottawa. He is part of a team that is helping out. And I am reaching out to people and checking in, and I will continue to check in. And I ask you to do the same in any situation, wherever you are, if someone is facing something where they need you to Just Show Up, just be there for them, be present and keep checking in. That’s the other big thing, we need to keep checking in with people. Many of the relief organizations have partnered to create one "go to" website if you would like to donate and help people affected in Ottawa. I have included the link here I am sending love to everyone who is struggling with something today! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
As many of you know I have left my nursing career to help create a culture of change so we can do better, live well, grieve well and die well. And I am so excited to say that, I have truly met my tribe!! From September 21st to the 23rd, 2018, I attended the inaugural Death Symposium in Toronto, Ontario. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life! Over 300 people attended and speakers from all around the world, who have the same passion and purpose. And the incredible founders, Sun and Ramona’s vision for this symposium was: It's a movement to explore and change how we reconcile life & death. An innovative gathering of some of the most influential, stimulating and inspirational minds and change-makers; from teachers and authors, to end of life care providers on the ground, to traditional healers from North America and beyond. We gather to learn, experience and reconcile our relationship and understanding of life and death. And truly, that is exactly what this incredible experience was. We learned, we gathered, we supported each other, we laughed we cried; it was life-changing. They also said: We have brought together some of the most sought after speakers and visionaries. They certainly did. I cannot even name them all but here are a few: BJ Miller—you must see his Ted Talk, Caitlin Doughty, who shared her experience of observing funerals from around the world and how we need to create change, Kenn Pitawanakwat; author, cultural grief specialist and he shared his blessing and his book on his journey of when his son died-- beautiful, wonderful soul. Stephen Jenkinson spoke and also entertained us with his musical band (along with others) Saturday evening, and so many more. There was also Dr. Naheed Dosani, who co-founded PEACH; Palliative Education And Care for the Homeless. We talked about natural burial, home funerals and how we can create a culture of change. So I encourage you to learn about the speakers, look at the Death Symposium page. Together we can do this! I am more excited about than ever. I am so grateful to the founders, to all who attended and to everyone who is out there being a change-maker. This takes many voices and action, but we can do it. We can do much better to live well, grieve well and die well. Thank you so much, everyone. See you next year!!! Learn more about the speakers here Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
Back in the Hunter’s Bay Radio studio, I had the honour of interviewing Ciara Thompson and her mom Heather. Ciara shared her wonderful and difficult journey; from anxiety, depression and being bullied to being crowned Miss Canada 2017! She truly shows us how far you can come! I asked Ciara to share her most important message: My most important message is to follow through with your goals, little goals, and make a game plan as to how you can accomplish them. It will help you grow as a person. I think that’s pretty much what life is about—becoming the best version of yourself. Ultimately you will create a chain reaction and you’ll be able to create a brighter future. I feel compelled to add: You are often capable of so much more than you ever dreamed! You didn’t, for one minute, dream of being Miss Canada? Not even for a second! You struggled and you had a hard time, but at age 24 you started entering pageants and… When at 25, You won! It's an Incredible story, seriously! I am just so proud of Ciara. And sometimes I’m sure people havean impression of beauty pageant contestants and their goals of “World Peace”like in the movie, “Miss Congeniality". I asked Ciara what she is passionate about and she shared her goals: I am so passionate about helping people, specifically those who are homeless. I think they are kind of looked over and that’s where I’d like to hone in and really make a change. This young woman is so lovely (and so is her supportive mom!) and I will support her in any way I can. Ciara is amazing, inspiring and shows that you can accomplish almost anything. From bullied to Miss Canada 2017. Click here to see more about Ciara! Wow! I don’t think I could pull that off, but if that is your goal… GO FOR IT! What do you dream of? Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
As you know, I aspire to help people to live life to the fullest, learn to grieve and support others and have “The Talk” about end of life, long before it arrives and diffuse the fear. And every now and again I connect with someone very special and they share something that has a profound impact. Matthew Ruttan is one of those people. I connected with the Ruttan Family a few years ago. Sadly Eric Ruttan, father and husband, died of cancer. But at his service, Matthew did something very special. He handed out cards to those in attendance. The words on the card stayed with me. In fact I have the card in my wallet, have printed it out in many places and it is even part of my presentations. When we are grieving, when someone we love has died, it is a difficult journey to navigate. People often ask me, “How do I get through this? What do I do?” Matthew’s words really helped me offer an answer. Here’s what that card said: Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference. Be the evidence that someone’s life made a difference. Wow! When I read those words it takes my breath away. It speaks to my heart and to my soul. It makes me feel hopeful. The best way we can honour people we love who have died—Big Love, Big Grief—is by moving though our deepest grief, acknowledging and allowing, knowing and accepting that it will impact our hearts forever. But if we can live our life to the fullest, and we can be the evidence that their life made a difference… I feel like that is a tremendous way to honour them. I would love to hear your stories, of how you are being the evidence… I hope these words touch your heart as well, and help you to carry on to the other side where you can feel joy again, and you can… Be the Evidence, that Someone’s Life Made a Difference. Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I am sitting in a beautiful park in Boston, Massachusetts. We’ve just spoken at an international hospice/palliative care conference. We then played tourist and did the trolley and harbour tour. And now I am having a really wonderful moment. One of my most favorite movies, for so many reasons, is Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams who plays in the movie, lives forever in my heart. And I am in awe of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and all they overcame and their determination to create this movie. And the story… amazing. If you haven’t seen it, I think you should. I am sitting on a special bench with Geordie, where Matt Damon and Robin Williams—well, the characters they played—had a life-changing heart-to-heart. When someone believes in you and sees something in you, that you don’t see yourself, it can really change your life. And that very talk happened right on this bench, where we are sitting, and Robin and Matt were staring at the most beautiful scenery I am enjoying. So I wanted to share my magical moment with you. Dreams can come true, if we make them happen. Coming to Boston and speaking at this conference, sitting on this bench… dreams coming true. What do you dream of? Where will your magical moment happen? Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
My family and I went to Balsam Chutes with our cousin Sarah and her daughters Izzy and Josie. They immediately jumped into the water (life-jackets on of course!) and were swimming against the current. All I could hear was hysterical laughter. Good clean fun! It reminded me, once again, that we can create our own fun. We don’t always need to be entertained. Of course, not everyone has rapids close by. But connection is what matters; to nature and each other. Go to a park and kick a ball around or get on the swings. Enjoy Nature. There’s so much joy to be had. Listening to the kids and adults having such a great time was just awesome. I am so grateful. So remember, get out there, and create your own fun! Find a park, nature, walk, something. Kids don’t need you to do everything for them. They need you to do something with them. Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I had the pleasure of interviewing my friend, Gael Bishop on Hunter’s Bay (airing Saturday August 25th at 8am then available on the podcast). Larry the bernese mountain dog lay at her feet. Gael shares her story of addiction, in hopes of helping others. I am just so proud of her. Here’s Gael: Thank you, Yvonne, for reaching out on Facebook. I had broken my anonymity two years into my sobriety. I try to be as open as I can through social media. So today I wanted to talk about my journey and how difficult it was for me to reach for help. Many times when we hit rock bottom, it’s because we can’t see that there is actually something on the other side that is going to help us from the place that we’re in. I clarified that it was a battle with alcoholism and Gael replies; Absolutely, 100%! It has such an incredible grip on me that I experienced that feeling of being completely imprisoned and not being able to break free. Just the thought of not being able to live without alcohol—especially you see it wherever you go—it’s glamorized. You wonder, “What would my life be like without it… my social life?”But I was so broken that I had no other choice but to leave alcohol behind. And now I can speak today, that I am in a life that is worry-free because I am not held back by anything. I have no filter. I have freedom. I want to reach out and help others, so they don’t’ have to go down the same rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole. Because you’ll replace it with something else… I interject: If you don’t develop coping skills, strategies, acceptance and forgive yourself! And do your inventory. Go into your life and figure out, “Where is this coming from?” It’s not your fault and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a fault of anyone or anything. It can just be something that gets fixed, addressed. Then you need to acknowledge that alcohol is not something you need in your life. It’s destructive and it’s destroying millions of lives. I can attest to the fact that alcohol has certainly negatively impacted my family. I’m glad that you are creating a life you love every day and I thank you for sharing. So, if you drink and it is not interfering with your life, great. If alcohol has a grip on you or someone you love…reach out. Find help. Find support. This is the book I read and loved: https://www.the30daysolution.com/. Find Gael on Facebook. Gael can confirm and so can I… You can live and love a sober life! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
As Geordie and I are creating our global movement--I Just Showed Up-- and sharing Love Your Life to Death with the world, we decided that as we transform our lives, we’d transform our home as well. Our kids went to camp, and instead of relaxing and enjoying our time we ripped our house apart. But it’s all good! We have found wonderful painters and we’re going to have a new floor installed. We’ve spent our time unscrewing thing like switch covers with power tools (they are fun!). We ripped out our carpet and it’s been a whole lot of work. And of course, when you start really looking and seeing how awful the doorknobs and hinges are, there’s so much more to do than we anticipated. Isn’t that always the way? But for the first time—we’ve renovated three houses before—we have actually hired help and we are loving it!! They are Just Showing Up and doing a great job. It’s amazing! We’ve shared every part of our journey with you, so we wanted to share our home renovation too. We’ve posted the “before” pictures and we’ll post “after” as well. And please just tell us you love it, even if you don’t. haha. We love it and we want you to love it too so we’re excited to share. We’re into renovations! Renovating our lives and our homes and everything! Wish us luck! And if you’re in a renovation project, tell us all about it. And good luck to you! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I am so excited today, because I went to have coffee with my dear friend Sandra Holdsworth. She shared that she had been to the Transplant Games in Vancouver, BC, in July (2018) and excuse me… she came home with not one but two medals and a beautiful trophy!! “Sandra, I’m so proud of you. Tell us the story!” S: The medals are from table tennis. It was a special day for me because it was my 54th birthday. I received the gold for women over 50 and the silver for mixed doubles! It was a lot of fun to participate with everyone. It’s my 9th Transplant Games. I think I’m the only athlete to compete in all nine! The trophy, I was the recipient of was at the Gala. It is in memory of Gloria, one of the founders of the Canadian Transplant Association. And what is special to me is that previous recipients are past friends of mine—mentors. So it’s a real honour to receive and help promote awareness. Y: You are so passionate about creating awareness and you are an organ recipient—a liver transplant almost 22 years ago. You’ve always been grateful, sharing the message; “Let’s all be organ donors!” Because it saves families and it saves lives. S: It’s my way of giving back and it’s a way of saying thank you to my donor family, and to give people the opportunity to become part of the transplant community and attend the games where you make friends for life. Y: Amazing! I attended the Transplant Games two years ago in Toronto and it was magical! I loved every minute of it. Sandra, thank you for everything that you do to raise awareness. Congratulations on your medals and trophy. And what does everyone need to do? S: Please register your intention to be a donor (here) and discuss your wishes with your family! Organ donation saves families, saves lives and it is an incredible gift! We should all be registered organ donors. I’m am. Are you? Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet.
I’ve just arrived home from the grocery store and I have all kinds of wonderful food to unpack. And I realized as I’ve done many times in the past—I had been complaining: “Oh I have to go grocery shopping. I don’t feel like shopping. I’ll have to put all this stuff away and I have SO much to do.” Then I stopped myself, and felt ashamed. I thought of all the people who don’t have enough to eat, do not have food in the world—even in my own community! Possibly in the same block as the wonderful grocery store packed with food, so many things to choose from, anything and everything you could want. I stopped myself and decided to be very grateful—grateful for groceries-- because it is a privilege to be able to go into a grocery store and come home with an abundance of food. How many people wish they could do that? So, if you’ve ever complained about shopping, forgive yourself, and choose to be grateful each and every time you unpack groceries and pack your fridge. Are you grateful for groceries? I certainly am! Thank you for being part of our community! Purchase your copy of Love Your Life to Death here, our Audio, From Avoidance to Resilience or your #IJustShowedUp bracelet. Together we are creating a culture of change!
I was so delighted to interview Carolyn Vandyken on my Hunters Bay Radio Show. I thanked her for Just Showing Up and creating change in the world and educating people about pelvic floor health. Here’s what she shared: Most of us ignore our pelvic floor throughout our life span. It’s not that we want to, we’re just not told about pelvic health. It’s a bit of a taboo subject, but it shouldn’t be. We all own pelvic floors—men and women—and we are all affected by what is happening with those muscles. They can be too tight and cause painful periods, intercourse and all sorts of problems. They may be too weak and cause incontinence (leaking urine or bowel issues). Statistically at this point, 1 in 2 of us end our life in diapers. I must repeat: If you don’t think this is important information; 1 in 2 people, in their senior years, end up in diapers. I personally would like to avoid that if possible! And there are things we can do throughout our lives to change that! Carolyn agrees: Completely avoidable!! 90% of incontinence can be easily cured with some simple exercises. They’re not all kegels. Remember I said tension is a problem, so often we have to learn to relax those muscles. I want to share this information with everyone everywhere. I also interviewed Carolyn on my ROGERStv Show. So many issues teens, women and men have are avoidable or curable! I encourage everyone with issues or learn prevention. Your pelvic floor is very important and needs attention. Did you know it has five functions? Learn and be healthy! Take good care of your pelvic floor! www.physioworksmuskoka.com www.pelvichealthsolutions.com
A couple of years ago, we were visiting these four fabulous ladies (Right to Left): Elyse (age 7, little sister), Gia, Viv and Brielle (8 year old triplets). We talked about the fact that we can all Just Show Up and they really understood. We did a vlog on 7/13/17. So I asked them if in the last couple of years, there was a time they Just Showed Up and this is what they shared: Elyse: I hugged my mom when Papa died. That is one of the most amazing ways to Just Show Up. Thank you! Giavanna: I Facetimed Daddy when he was away. When Daddy is traveling he is lonely and of course he misses you. Facetime is a wonderful way to Just Show Up. Thank you. Vivienne: I give the guinea pigs food and love. You really know how to Just Show Up for all animals, and people too. Thank you! Brielle: I became friends with a girl when she was new at our school. She was probably nervous and then she became your BFF. Your really Just Showed Up for her. Thank you! These four ladies really know how to Just Show Up They certainly have for me many times! and I love them SO much. Let’s tell people… when you don’t know what to do and you don’t know what to say… All together… Just Show Up! www.ijustshowedup.com
Gerry Croteau (with the great bow tie!) is the Executive Director for the Gilbert Centre in Barrie, ON. Gerry shares: For the LGBTQ community, there is programming, information, parenting support, HIV teaching—the whole gamut! There is a website, people to call and talk to and a variety of programs. There is important information that parents and teachers may not have! We also network and partner with other organizations such as CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association) and public health. We are entrenched in the Simcoe/Muskoka community. Gerry and I had a fun and spicy conversation on my ROGERStv show, “Real Life Talks.” Tune in here: The Gilbert Centre takes a broad, social determinants approach to our work that is based in social justice, health equity and human rights. We see to engage individuals, families, organizations, institutions and communities as partners and collaborators in the work we undertake. We are committed to the greater involvement and meaningful engagement of people living with HIV/AIDS (GIPA/MIPA). We engage all those who live, work with and are affected by HIV/AIDS and their allies in a culture of inclusivity intended to foster an expanding and inclusive approach that embraces those living with HIV in all their diversity and circumstances. The Gilbert Centre recognizes and respects all human rights, identities, and experiences. People who identify as lesbian, gay, bi, trans, two spirit, and all queer and trans people are welcomed and supported. Gerry, Thank you for all that you do to empower and educate people! www.gilbertcentre.ca Regardless of age, race, ability/disability, sexual orientation... we can make a difference. No matter how small it (or you) may be. Thank you, Austin! You are a Superhero!! Click here (to watch this amazing video of Austin!) #showlove #ijustshowedup
I am at the Hunter’s Bay Radio studio with my mom. I asked her to be on my show because she has led me on my spiritual path and shared part of her story in my book, Love Your Life to Death, in my chapter for I Bared My Chest and in my chapter for Anxiety Warrior. She is a gift to others too! I asked her to share information about Waves of Healing: I am a Wholistic Practioner and my practice is called Waves of Healing. I work out of a wonderful space called, More Than Just Art. I use different methods to help people be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually; Reiki, Acupressure, pattern work (a verbal exchange) and energy work. It helps people look at patterns they’ve repeated in their lives and how they want to do things differently. As I mentioned, my mom led me on my spiritual path and changing my patterns from the past. I was her greatest skeptic. But it helped me so much in my life. That’s why I share her message, (and not just because she’s my mom!) We also talked about Finding Your Post, that internal or permanent something that you can hang onto—no matter what-- in times of despair. She shares: My Post is knowing that I can turn to love instead of fear anytime I choose to do that. To be loving toward myself first—sometimes difficult for most people—then love others. No matter what the situation, I believe that love is always the answer. Love and Gratitude are always the answer, no matter what the question. I believe we can be lighthouses for each other, if we choose. We can shine the light for ourselves first, then be the light for everyone in the world. We never know where our light ends up or how many people we help. Thank you, mom, for everything you are. You have helped me to become a better person. And you say I’ve inspired you? Guess we are lighthouses for each other! xo www.wavesofhealing.ca
Many times in life, when we are really busy we reach milestones and things that we should celebrate. But we often say, “Ok we accomplished that” and just jump to the next thing, and move on. Well today, I’m going to stop and say that I am really proud, happy and celebrating. Last week, I was a keynote speaker at a hospice/palliative care conference. I had attended the same conference four years ago and loved the closing keynote speaker and thought, “I want to be her.” Well guess what? Last Monday, I was! Then on Friday, we were invited to Centennial College (in Toronto) where I received the Alumnus of Distinction, 2018 Award. I was given a beautiful trophy, roses, wonderful lunch; was treated like royalty and the faculty was amazing. I was also able to say a few words to 500 graduates and their families. It was magical. So I am celebrating my accomplishments today. We’ve given our hearts and souls to “Love Your Life to Death” for the last four years (and we’re not stopping!). It is nice to be validated and recognized! Good for us! I encourage you to celebrate your milestones along the way--big and small. What are you going to celebrate you today? :)
Sometimes…
Please…
And we care. You are never alone. Here is a panel discussion of people who are here for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFOSywPRik8
As I sit in my lovely office looking at the beautiful trees that surround me, I am thinking about the many broken hearted people who are grieving, including myself. As we share our I Just Showed Up movement—teaching people of all ages how to show up for themselves and each other so they are empowered and resilient when grief arrives—I want to share a few more tidbits. When there is a funeral, celebration of life or tragedy, people Just Show Up. Then life goes on for them. But for that grieving person, life is never the same and they have to adjust to a new normal. And it’s hard. So I want to remind everyone to keep showing up for that person. Their grief journey has only just begun. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way: Acknowledge and allow all feelings; Sad, mad, depressed…whatever they are. If they want to talk, listening and allowing is the greatest gift you can give. Don’t minimize or “at least” people. “At least you can do this or that…” it is not helpful. Don’t start telling your story as soon as they finish telling theirs. In that grieving moment they just need to be heard. Create that space for them. Be a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Forget the Golden Rule. Don’t treat people as you want to be treated, treat people as they want to be treated. We are all different, so… ASK! What is the most helpful thing I could do right now? Maybe offer a choice; can I cut the grass, pick up the kids, bring you dinner, grocery shop for you. Doing something is better than doing nothing. And if they really don’t know, just do something nice! Forget the polite conversation. “How are you?” “Fine thanks.” Let’s not say we’re fine if we are not, or hope others do the same. Let’s allow our humanness and be real. Check in. We all have very busy lives. It’s easy for the weeks to slip by and you feel terribly that you didn’t connect with someone who has had a tremendous loss. So…put reminders in your phone (or calendar). Call once a week and encourage others to do the same on different days. Of course grieving people need space to grieve. But we need to keep checking in… for the first year. Then re-evaluate after that! There’s not timeline! So, Just Show Up for Yourself First, and Just Show Up for the grieving. Together we can help heal people’s broken hearts. www.ijustshowedup.com
I am in the Hunter’s Bay Radio studio with Eva Zachary and Jody North. Two wonderful ladies from Muskoka Victim Services. I asked Eva what the greatest message we could share with our community would be. She replied, Just Be There. Be Human. If someone is in crisis, struggling in any traumatic situation, you don’t have to fix it. And you can’t fix it. You can’t change what happened! But, you can… Just Show Up. Just Be There. Be Yourself. You don’t have to walk in like you have a PhD (even if you do!) and have all the answers. It’s much better to say, I don’t know what to do or say, but I’m here! Both ladies agree and Eva adds, That’s the best thing. Jody says, that’s how real connections are made. Just Showing Up, and being human. That’s how real connections are made. We can also have these conversations BEFORE a crisis. What should I do or say? Seek out information! Victim Services volunteers Just Show Up in the deepest and greatest crisis of someone’s life. Eva says it is usually one of the worst days of someone’s life. I can’t express how grateful I am for Victim Services staff and volunteers. I have met people who have been supported by them, and it made all the difference. We want our volunteers there, but we also need our community to have the courage to Just Show Up. (and keep in mind, volunteers need their village too!) Being the Program Coordinator, Jody adds that they are always accepting new volunteers on their team. (Even if you’re not in Muskoka, I have no doubt your local Victim Services needs volunteers too!) Showing up on someone’s worst day, a very difficult thing to do. But so rewarding, know you made the difference on someone’s’ worst day! Thank you ladies. You are Queens of Just Showing Up. And thank you to every Victim Services organization. You make the difference! www.muskokavs.ca |
Yvonne Heath is a Canadian leader, Transformational Speaker, Blogger, Television Host, Author and Creator of the #IJustShowedUp movement. Guest Blogs
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October 2018
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